The deeper stigmas are self - internalized

I have an approach - avoidance relationship within my procovery. I want to help less fortunate people with increasing their own self-esteem. Yet I sense the stigma of avoiding people [consumers] with mental disorders. The stigma I sense, as Kathleen says, is part of the deeply self - internalized stigma I feel from my own misconstrued messages from culture and society. I fear the threat of isolation and abandonment from family or friends and need the cottling and pablum of the helping professions. My family will not cottle me and the help from professionals expects very little change. Now it is up to me to accept this and be true to my OWN definitions and interpretations of life and change and become my true self.

Now about the stigma I sometimes feel:

First of all, we ALL have quirks and I feel threatened when a fellow citizen or consumer says or does something of a quirk and I must rationalize to help that quirk be relieved or disarmed - all the while I feel threatened: guilt by association..

Secondly, when I, as a consumer, say or do a quirk and others feel threatened that they are associated with me, I also must rationalize to apologize or relieve and disarm the quirk with social skills and diplomacy.

Third, family and acquaintances with no experience with our quirks, when one happens, often avoid our contact socially. They regroup with more functional people [non-consumers] when they feel threatened to be ostracized from their functional friends. This happens as they feel too associated with the stigma of a mental disorder. THEY don't want to be ostracized or stigmatized along with the result of OUR quirks.

Finally, I cannot surgically remove the internalized stigma that someone ELSE feels and tries to avoid. But I must begin to rationalize and dissolve my OWN internalized stigmas. I must act to relieve the fear and the threatening ostracization. I must identify who expressed their stigmatic thoughts and understand, without fear, what thoughts are happening to drive me away from consumers. I must counter those thoughts with affirmations and rationalizations why I should remain calmly nearby until the quirk is disarmed or events move on to other "unloaded" topics.

We all need the security deep within ourselves not to be afraid of the social quirks of anyone!!

Involvement builds self-esteem. Vulnerabilty flourishes with trust. Inner security is a rational exercise. Peace begins with acceptance.

Hence, I want to address self internalized stigma, and counter feeble expression of the internalized stigma of family, culture and society. I want to be like Tim H and flash the light of a healthy inner security that does not back down from a threat of a social quirk, regardless who says or does it.

More later..

Dave :>)