I want my friends to understand (as much as possible) what I'm going through right now.
Most of my friends at Christ Church Cathedral do no know that I have the most severe type of Bipolar disorder (Type I). I never know how long these episodes are going to last, usually they last for only 3 to 7 days. On one occasion, in 2001, I had my worst episode which lasted 3 1/2 months and pretty much ended my working career.
There are 5 levels of severity. I'm currently at a manageable place somewhere between Euthymic and Hypomanic. If this is unfamiliar to you, you can read the text of this link from a worse episode in 2004.
The chart was a sincere but somewhat desperate attempt to both manage and document my "UP" phase.
This time, though I'm very focused and don't have irrational thoughts there are still symptoms you may notice in the next few days:
- excessive talking
- inadequate listening
- seeming overly excited
- blog entries that are too long. . like this one ;-)
I'm eating regularly, but my sleep pattern has been erratic for the last 8 days. I'm in close communication with my Psychiatrist, taking my medicine regularly, and making the necessary adjustments.
Please don't worry about me. I'm becoming more experienced at handling these episodes, and it will likely be over in a few days.
I have no more reason to be ashamed of my mental chemical disorder than a diabetic has of his or her condition.
I have told only a handful of people at Christ Church, because I like to wait until I know someone well enough that they don't see me through their preconceptions about mental illness. Rather, I like people to know about mental illness through the "filter" of knowing ME.
I facilitate a group for young adults who have depression, bipolar, or any number of ills. When I'm like this, I have to turn the leadership over to someone else. At least I'm responsible and realistic to do THAT.
Please pray for me, and I ask for understanding and forbearance.
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